I don't know who Ayn Rand is. Should I change that or just let it lie?
Imagine the baby that would result from a night of passion between Ebenezer Scrooge (before the spirits changed his ways) and Mr. Krabs from Spongebob. Now imagine that baby grew up and married the baby that would result from a night of passion between Yzma from the Emperor’s New Groove and Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. Now imagine the newlyweds had a baby of their own, and that baby was raised aboard a Ferengi Starship, where she was tutored in empathy and compassion by Lord Voldemort. Now imagine that baby grew up and someone told her that any opinions she might have or conclusions she might reach are based on objective logic and reason, and that anyone who disagrees with her is simply being irrational. Now multiply that person’s greed and heartlessness by 100 and you’ll begin to see something that comes close to resembling Ayn Rand.
today i was in hot topic with my mom and there was a bra with Simba on it so I asked her “want a lion king bra?” she said “why would i?” so I put it in front of my chest and said “hakuna ma tatas” she had to leave the store she was laughing so hard.
As many as 15 percent of freshmen at America’s top schools are white students who failed to meet their university’s minimum standards for admission, according to Peter Schmidt, deputy editor of the Chronicle of Higher Education. These kids are “people with a long-standing relationship with the university,” or in other words, the children of faculty, wealthy alumni and politicians.
According to Schmidt, these unqualified but privileged kids are nearly twice as common on top campuses as Black and Latino students who had benefited from affirmative action.
a varsity jacket but it has three arms and it’s melting
your football shoulder pads have grass growing out of them and they constantly hum
you shove nerds not into lockers, but into other planes of existence. your football is always singing, singing, singing. the astroturf changes colors beneath you, and whispers the name of every person you’ve ever loved.
“I think it’s weird that teenage girls know more about giving blowjobs than they do about masturbation. It makes me sick to my stomach that so many young girls think sex is just about a guy finishing.”—
idk man, imagine showing Arthur Weasley a gif for the first time. At first of course he’d just think it was a normal wizard photograph, but then you’d explain that muggles made it and his heart would just explode with joy over these muggles making such amazing shit even though they have no magic at all. How amazing. How inventive.
Maybe whenever you’re feeling bad about yourself imagine how much Arthur Weasley would enjoy meeting you.
My dad would tell me that when we were little and people would say to him “wow, four daughters, that’s a lot of weddings to pay for” (because traditionally the bride’s family would pay for the wedding), my dad would respond with “well, we’re hoping at least one of them will be gay so we can split the cost with the other bride’s family” He said people never knew how to respond